“I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.” – Anonymous
“I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.” – Anonymous
“Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.” – Groucho Marx
“I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.” – Anonymous
“I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.” – Anonymous
“A plateau is the highest form of flattery.” – Anonymous
“Atheism is a non-prophet organization.” – George Carlin
“Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.” – Anonymous
“I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.” – Anonymous
“I’ve been to the dentist so many times, I know the drill.” – Anonymous
“I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.” – Anonymous
“I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.” – Anonymous
“I’m reading a book about teleportation. It’s bound to take me places.” – Anonymous
“Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.” – Anonymous
“I’m trying to organize a hide-and-seek competition, but it’s really hard to find good players.” – Anonymous
“I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.” – Anonymous
“A boiled egg every morning is hard to beat.” – Anonymous
“I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.” – Anonymous
“The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.” – Anonymous
“I once got into so much debt that I couldn’t even pay my electricity bill. Those were the darkest days of my life.” – Anonymous
“He had a photographic memory but never developed it.” – Anonymous
“I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.” – Anonymous
“The guy who invented the door knocker got a no-bell prize.” – Anonymous
“I’m a big fan of whiteboards. They’re re-markable.” – Anonymous
“I used to work in a shoe factory, but I just couldn’t put my soul into it.” – Anonymous